5 Steps to Controlling Myself

There are a few people I have no control over. 7.3 billion to be exact.

I keep myself pretty busy just working on me. I’ve a long list of areas to maintain. Here are a few to get us started.

1) Self Talk.
What we think and say to ourselves all day long is pretty darn important. Negative messages inherited from parents, a school teacher, a coach, a haughty look someone gave us on the street – these can fill our mind until there is no room for possibilities. When negative self-talk pops up, immediately replace it with your choice of positive thoughts. In time, you train your mind to ignore the negatives and to search for positives. Positives are proven to enhance health, relationships, and fulfillment.

Much appreciation to the unknown source of this image

2) Self Image.
Our self image is created by a series of experiences that have built into a full-blown self-identity. Most happened in formative years, perceived through the inexperienced eyes of a child. Now that you are an adult, you do not have to accept that accumulated data as the truth. You can review and remove pieces you don’t want. “I don’t measure up” is a tough one. Measure up to whom? To what? Who controls the measuring stick? Who is taking a poll? Why should we care? Once you recognize you can never live up to other’s expectations, create your ideal self, and then act to meet your own standards. Be gentle with yourself in this process. You are developing a new skill set of thought, so perfection isn’t required here. Just lots of practice.

3) Interaction with Others
How we act with others creates a boomerang effect. What we give out will come back. If we don’t like what is coming at us, the solution lies within what we are expressing out. There are a plethora of areas to work with here. If I am constantly being taken advantage of – how can I set better personal boundaries? If I don’t have any friends – how can I be more friendly? If my partners are demeaning – how can I be more assertive in relationships? If I need a partner to feel complete – how can I gain a sense of self-completion so I am not dependent upon partners? If a pattern of relationship problems repeats – how can I break my beliefs or behavior that creates the pattern?

4) Non-Resistance/Acceptance
Acceptance isn’t giving up. It’s recognizing what cannot be changed and then setting about making it tolerable.
“That which we resist will persist”. When we see something we don’t like, we tend to look for additional, reinforcing proof that it’s wrong. We even go so far as to find others who agree so we can suffer together with full justification. This is guaranteed to add weight to our misery. Some things can be changed; others cannot. Weigh the circumstances, change what we can, and then let it go.

5) Be the person you want others to be.
Want more friendly people in your life? Be more friendly. Want more abundance in your life? Share more of what you do have. Want more recognition at work? Give more recognition to your co-workers and colleagues. Want people to be more welcoming at social events? Be the one who is welcoming to others at social events. Want fewer complaining people in your life? Cease complaining to others.
What you express will expand in your life – negative or positive. I’ve found positive works pretty darn good.

The most difficult person I’ve ever had to handle is ME! I’ve set a goal to be perfect before I die. This requires I live at least until 3,000 years of age.

Take life into your own hands and make it happen. It’s your life; Lead it. 


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Ellie Hadsall is an author and director of Cosmic Gathering, dedicated to unconditional support for your transformational journey.


Ellie’s Latest Book: PATHWALKER  (see side bar —–>)

Review: … This is the BEST non-fiction book I have read in years. I could not put it down! The story is super engaging, Eleni, the main character, is so wise and inspiring. The story of a community based on deep respect, for the earth, for nature, and for each other, gives me hope in these times of corruption, chaos and extreme unrest… more reviews


Ellie Note: Any ads inserted below this article are advertisements selected by WordPress to support their free blogs, which I fully appreciate. The ads do not necessarily represent me or my works.

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About Ellie Hadsall

My life is a journey with insights and gifts being revealed as I move forward. Every one I meet is a companion on this adventure. Together, we ride a wave of transformation. Let's leave the old behind and move through new portals! After a long, fulfilling career in human resource, personal development, and motivational speaking, I am currently a spiritual mentor, author, intuitive, Kriya minister, Vedic fire ceremony practitioner, meditation teacher and spiritual friend.
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