Do you ever listen to your Self-Talk? You know, that pesky thinking machine that churns repetitive thoughts around in circles. If you’ve learned to maintain positive self-talk, congratulations! Many people are stuck on the track of “I’m not good enough.” “I’m not lovable.” “I’m stupid.” “I’m not strong like other people.” “Everyone else has their life in order, while mine is disintegrating.” “I’m tired of projecting as if everything in my life is fine, when I feel like $h*!”.
It’s been said that 90% of our thoughts are the same one’s we’ve had for years, simply re-arranged. Much like the old furniture we are tired of looking at, we move the pieces around in order to feel better for a while. But what if we threw out what no longer feels “right”? What if we made room for something better, something that feels more like the “me” we want to be?
Practical Steps can shift life.
Whew! Becoming who we want to be is a big order, but it can be done. This is what life is all about. I know others who have done it. I’ve done it. You may have done it a few times yourself, but at this moment you face a seemingly insurmountable “next step”. I’m going to share a series of practical action steps that can help. I’ll post them here on my blog, as well as on my “Ellie Hadsall’s Writing” Facebook page. If one practice helps you, I am delighted! Share whatever you learn with friends. If one action step doesn’t help, check out the next one. Whatever you do, please seek answers somewhere, because wallowing around in misery is a waste of your life-time, and quickly drains away life force.
A client recently asked me, “Ellie, what is your self-talk?” It goes like this:
A Good Day:
“That robin woke me again, cheerfully singing outside the window. I feel great this morning, up at 5 AM! I’ll meditate, do my twenty minutes of yoga, five minutes of leg strengthening exercises, shower, drink a green smoothie and check my calendar. Looks like today I can settle in to write. I feel motivated and ideas are pouring through. I like who I am, love my family. My life is filled with old and new friends who care, who believe in me, and who are sincerely working to become even better people. This afternoon I’ll bake einkorn bread and make labels for my new batch of wine. How does it get any better than this?”
Aaaargh! I do NOT want to get up. That overly-zealous piece of wild poultry needs to sing outside someone else’s window! Whoops – I need to keep my thoughts straight; don’t let them go there. Right! I’ll follow my morning routine because it’s what works to keep me healthy and energized. If I do what works instead of what I “feel” like doing, it leads me to a better day. I am thankful to have learned practices to keep me on track. Yeah, yeah, let’s just get these marvelous requirements over with and get that cup of coffee; maybe two this morning. I’ll just have half a smoothie; I feel fat today. I need to starve myself for a few weeks to lose this extra poundage I gained since menopause. Wait a minute – think this through. Yesterday I felt fine, and this is the same body, right? I have health, energy, and I eat real food. Like that pie I had for supper last night? Oh yeah, I did that, didn’t I? But, hey!, it’s good to enjoy life, too! Enjoying the five senses is a part of living the human experience. So long as I follow moderation, I do okay. Yes, so long as I don’t use that as an excuse. I manage to do what creates the best results – most of the time. It’s worked so far. If and when it doesn’t, I’ll adjust, as I have learned to do. Beliefs and patterns that no longer bring desired results, can be transformed. Now that’s better! But now what? Nothing motivates me today. I feel like sitting in a chair and staring like a zombie into space. I need a focus, something to do that gets me moving into the day. I’ll look at my list of tasks, and choose one to get started. That will get the ball rolling. Once I build momentum, I’ll feel good to have accomplished something. Then I’ll reward myself by going online for thirty minutes over the lunch hour to read something inspirational. Sigh. First order of business is to walk over to my list. Okay, now where do I start?
Some days will be overwhelming.
I’ve yet to have every day run smoothly. I’ve learned to quit judging a day if it doesn’t, because life isn’t supposed to be smooth. Each day brings its own gifts. Some days flow by gracefully, allowing us to re-calibrate and take a break. Other days are overwhelming, choppy, uncoordinated, uninspiring, depressing, or erratic. I’ve learned that’s okay. What is important is how I respond the day’s events. My response can make things better, or worse. It’s working with my mental self-talk, beliefs, and habits on those days, that hones me into a better person and ultimately, into a wiser soul.
Next Post! How to take action on that “Okay, now where do I start?”
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